How old is Ushio supposed to be?
by Darfur Maxx
Summary: Seriously, I don't actually know.


One day, Ushio does "something" to "someone" and it was illegal since she and that "somebody" were underaged at the time.

"Oh farts, cops are coming to tazer me in the brains for being autistic big breasted elvira youcis demon slut that rapes prepubescent boys." She laughed out loud.

White beefy skinhead cops made a big show on CNN, waving their cocks at Ushio and screaming orders at her in sound decimals that can cause permanent hearing damage in human ears. It was very erotic for people with authoritarian fetishes and a load of wiggers cummed all over themselves. The wigs' could only wish that they could cajole and coerce boob monsters like Ushio with the sound of their fucking balls.

Ushio had a seizure, but it was a synapse reboot in disguise and she ran away instead! Ruh roh!

"Ushio dun' runs aways," said Walker, Texas Ranger, "we will rape her children and husband now but not illegal since we are trained law enforcement officers and know what we are doing in the name of public safety."

Rod and Tod Flandre and their father Ned Flandre Scarlet were all sodomized with a door breaker that the friendly neighbourhood SWAT team kept around for this special purpose. They were all arrested afterwards. They were found to be resisting arrest and the police were forced to use lethal force. Ushio's family was dead and MSNBC recorded everything.

"Goddamned niggers should've dun' what they was told, god they're all retards, where's my tiger mug protein shake?" The Youcis Emily of dog-fucking and MK-Ultra said while every clown on the fucking internet zoomed in on her boobs. They were big and attractive which is why they keep doing it. She's like Marilyn Monroe except she is (was,) actually cool. She was in her underwear for extra views and to show what a traditional Conservative woman should be like.

Ushio was part boat and had to learn to swim without her ship gear since it was all submerged within Drew Pickles' goatse hole since she was not old enough to officially be a ship girl yet even though she already had a family and was paying child support; so Emily Youcis was officially Ushio instead of the real one, and she was also a CIA shill and has ties to the naval intelligence community.

Ushio escaped to Cuba with only the clothes on her back, which consisted of a tight, black t-shirt with the _Thrasher Magazine_ over her chest, with form-fitting skinny black jeans, and black skate shoes with black ankle socks. She sold her shirt for $39,000 U.S. dollars to the nearest CIA-backed drug lord and opened up an anime store; this was her willful refuge into total fantasy and inanity, tastefully disguised as a real job. It attracted a whole bunch of young, slutty, teenaged Cuban girls. They started to come to it within the week of the store's opening, graciously buying up all the DD/LG porn comics and cartoons Ushio had on display, while completely ignoring the Barney Bunch porn going for 80% off, and the weird shotacon shit Ushio would always noisily watch in the back room, coming out only to serve customers while her nipples were fully erect. Her customers all paid her in nude selfie polaroids. Ushio hit puberty the day that she received her 100th boob picture, and discovered that she was gayer than Jimmy Saville inside of a gay juvenile bathhouse on Sunday.

It was then, during a Very Special Episode of her life, just starting out on her quest to become not-underaged and therefore socially acceptable to masturbate to on Danbooru, _she_ had entered. A short, lithe, toned and physically fit, beautiful brown-headed Cuban girl wearing a _Fallout 3_ t-shirt and black denim booty shorts that showed off her thick, sturdy legs and shapely ass. Ushio couldn't stop staring at her intently, undressing the Cuban goddess with her unworthy eyes.

Did she like _Boku no Pico_ as much as she does?

"Hey Ushio, I'm Penis Avocado. Do you want to hear something disturbing?"

She didn't even bother questioning why this person somehow knew her name despite having abandoned it entirely upon entering Cuba. "What?" Said Ushio while she was going through a Very Special Episode of _Growing Pains_ , in real life.

"On my eleventh birthday I was taken to a room under the so-called `prayer tower` and ritually and sexually abused by Oral Roberts himself. I have seen Oral Roberts ritually sacrifice a human being. I have seen him drink blood and heard him praise Satan. I am not telling all of this to destroy this man's reputation or get even. I am telling this for all those who were hurt, raped and killed by him and all the other perpetrators out there. I am telling this because these people use the name of Jesus as if they were Christians but are fakes and liars. I am telling this because of all the deceptions these people have used and are still using in the name of Jesus Christ while leading people to hell. I am telling this because if I do not speak the truth and expose the lies and deception of these people, I will be just as guilty as they are."

"That _**is**_ disturbing! What can i do to help?"

Penis Avocado suddenly brandished the industrial welding torch she was hiding behind her back and circled towards Ushio. "You can give up the chase, you fucking mentally ill, child molesting, cock-sucking chink! You're under arrest!"

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


End file.
